It seems to be genetic

My husband has always had a problem with not turning off lights.  When he comes home from work, I follow him around the apartment for about 15 minutes just so I can turn off all the lights that he somehow forgets to turn off despite my constant reminders.

All his friends who come to visit are very good about turning off the lights when they exit a room, which makes me think this is not a Chinese thing.

About two weeks ago Howie's cousin-in-law, aunt, and second cousin came to visit and stayed in our spare room.  The same thing.  Every light in the house was constantly on.  Okay, so maybe it's only some of the family...

Howie's sister and brother-in-law are currently staying with us.  Same problem.  Lights.  On.  Constantly.  I mean, give me a break!

Our electricity bill is outrageous every month.  So much so that we unplug nearly everything when we finish using it (obviously not the refrigerator).  Blankets and coats are used in the winter instead of the heater and the water heater is only turned on about 20 minutes before we take showers.  Howie can remember all these things, but not turning off a light.

I'm beginning to think I am doomed to a life of wasted electricity.

Meghan's Account of the Dalian Dinner

I stole the following from my friend Meghan's blog.

In which I became a cautionary tale of future maid of honors at Chinese wedding dinners

Su-Mai-En! Su-Mai-En!! As the banquet hal full of chinese people chanted my (Chinese) name, I started to sincerely reconsider the wisedom of my choice to be Maid of Honor at a Chinese wedding dinner.

My ordeal started two weeks before, when a friend of mine asked me to be maid of honor at her Chinese wedding dinner.  Knowing as I did that her wedding involved a donkey parade, jumping over a lit oven and ridiculous Qing-era clothing, I decided that, as maid of honor, I would try to do an american style toast, so some part of her wedding would have a familiar element to her.

Chinese wedding dinners are an example of what happens when cultural traditions and etiquette, originally made to make life more pleasant, becomes an odious process that serves to confuse and exasperate everyone involved.

The Chinese wedding dinners involve "red envelopes" in which the people who are invited must come and are obligated to give a certain amount of money to the bride and groom- if they fail to do this, they lose face.  It's a tacky, antiquated tradition that often puts chinese people into a catch-22 postion,  since they have to come to the wedding dinner and they must give a certain amount of money, which is at least 200 rmb, which is, for most chinese people, a substantial percentage of their monthly paycheck. So they can't not go- they would lose face, but at the same time they can't go, because they can't afford the money.

Anyway- because of this catch 22 situation, the chinese teachers in my school were placed in a cultural conundrum, that resulted in two weeks of wavering between all the CTs not going, all the CTs going, and only some of the CTs going.  I decided to organize an american-style gift- in which all of the CTs going would pay a certain amount of money for one large gift.  This seemingly easy idea caused me much stress as we had to get through all of their "face issues" - and resulted in me dragging an enormous, cast iron "hanging arch" lamp through the labyrinth that is the Dalian IKEA, after my friend decided that since he had carried another, much lighter lamp before, since I changed my mind, I would have to carry this lamp myself. The frantic IKEA trip culminated with the two of us getting into a ridiculous, yet heated argument over the importance of wrapping paper and ribbon for a wedding present.

So, cut to the next day: I discovered that, as a Chinese maid of honor, besides giving a speech, I had to follow around the bride, holding a tray full of cigarettes and candies to give to all the men at the dinner.  I thus became the most sullen maid of honor as the sexist symbolism of the entire tradition was far too wretched for me to stomach gracefully.  Luckily, as the bride was an American, wearing four inch heels, a blue ballgown and a fur shawl, she was with me in the opinion that this was awful. 

Finally, I was able to sit down with all of my coworkers, leaving the bride and groom at the mercy of Chinese wedding dinner games and the malevolent guests who enforce them.  Or at least, that is how I'll try to remember the evening.  In reality, The groom announced that he had written a love song for his beautiful bride, and that, " The guests would like the maid of honor, Su-Mai-En, to dance to the song." 

Have you ever thought that you are in the midst of a nightmare? I have before. The difference between this time and the other times is that this time? I didn't wake up.  As the third round of "Su-Mai-En!! Su-Mai-En!" started up, I realized that, short of bolting for freedom , I was going to have to dance. 

As the groom started singing, acapella, a song that went along the lines of, " Alicia, I love you, love you, love you. Alicia, I love you!" I awkwardly hopped, tap danced and twirled around, doing at best, an interpretive dance, and at worst, my impersontion of a chicken, while 100 chinese strangers cheered (or jeered) and laughed.  I was a scene from bad '90s era teen movie.

My only consolation was that at least, besides my coworkers and my friend, no one I knew would ever see this.  Even this small consolation was taken from me when I was finally allowed to leave the stage, and I discovered that my Judas of a friend had filmed the entire, mortifying ordeal- from my attempt to escape, slithering my way under the table at the beginning, to the end, when I attacked the groom, wrenching the microphone out of his hand. 

wicked Chinese wedding dinner guests: 3,000,000,000
Meghan (aka Su-Mai-En): - dignity

Kim Jong-il came to Dalian

Seriously, he did.  It was all very hush hush that Kim Jeong Il came to China at all.  I had just heard that he went to Beijing to meet with Hu JinTao for some sort of diplomatic thing.

I was tutoring one of my kids one day and he started telling me how his father saw Mr./President/Dictator Kim at the Furama Hotel down by ZhongShan Square.  So here's the story...

My student's dad, Mr. Zhang, was sitting in a tea house in the Furama Hotel (fancy fancy fancy expensive hotel) enjoying ridiculously over priced tea when a very ugly man walked into the hotel surrounded by body guards.  Mr. Zhang didn't really believe what he was seeing.  As he continued to watch this man, he realized this was indeed Kim Jong-il, the horribly oppressive dictator of North Korea.

When I asked my husband if he knew that Kim had come to Dalian, he just looked at me like I was dumb.  Apparently, every Dalianese knew he had been to Dalian.  My husband later told me that the Chinese government had paid for everything while Kim was visiting China.

Culture Shock

I found a question online recently about culture shock in China.  I thought it was interesting.  Though I don't have too much anymore, if at all.  Here are a few things that I find odd, disgusting, or maybe shocking.

Bathrooms- You must carry around your own toilet paper.  Roll up your pant legs because you don't want to drop your pants in all the liquids on the bathroom floor.  Women don't like to close the doors on the stalls when they are occupying them.  No soap or hot water in public bathroom sinks.

Street Fighting- If someone is attacked, no one will help.  I saw a man getting beat in the middle of the road by three other men who were using fists, feet, and beer bottles.  The cars on the road just sat there and honked for them to get out of the way.  Pedestrians just stood there and watched.  A different fight I saw (I later learned that a man was killed during it) was at a popular park with carnival rides.  Even the security guards stood and watched and started to run off when the fight moved over towards them.

Bodily Fluids on the Streets- As it is getting warmer out, people are more and more willing to relieve themselves on the street.  I couldn't even tell you how many men I have seen urinating out in the open.  Most of them don't even try to conceal themselves.  Men and women, old and young, spit constantly... anywhere.  On the street, in stores, in restaurants, and hospitals.  One day I stopped at the small market near my home to see two little girls carefully placing cardboard on the sidewalk right by the store door.  They then pull down their pants and hover over the cardboard and begin to defecate.  This is followed by, "Mom! Mom! I'm done! Mom!".

Babies-  Split pants.  They are pants for babies with splits in the crotch.  These babies usually don't wear diapers so they get a nice breeze wherever they go.  When the parent decides that the baby should go to the bathroom they simply hold them over a trash can or bush and make a hissing sound so the baby knows it's okay to pee now.  I once saw this in the VIP bathroom at the train station.  The mother was waiting in line for a stall until the cleaner came up to her and told her she could just hold the baby over the sink.  On the bus one day I saw a woman sitting down holding her baby on her lap.  Nothing out of the ordinary there until you notice what the baby is wearing.  A bib.  That is all.  I kid you not, and that is fairly normal in the hot summer.

Restaurants-  There is a saying in Chinese that the servers' thumbs are always cold.  This is because their thumbs are quite often stuck in your rice as they carry the rice to your table.  I have seen dogs and cats and naked babies and urinating dogs in restaurants here.  Don't have an ashtray at your table?  No problem, put it out on the table or the floor.

Tableware- Dishes are washed in cold water (even in private residences).  The dishes are then put away wet or given to you at a restaurant dripping with water.  Make sure your cup is clean by swishing beer around in it then poor it in your bowl or on the floor.

Street Markets and Open Markets- Need a whole chicken for your dinner party tonight?  You can buy one at the market.  Choose the live chicken that you want and they will kill it right there for you.  (I have also seen and heard dog markets.)  Go to the meat counter and point out what slab you want.  Make sure you wash it before you eat it.  It's been sitting there all day in the heat under a lamp with the butcher handling it over and over with the same gloves that he/she wears to take your money.

Those are just the things that I can think of at the moment.  Very few of these ever really get to me anymore.  Oh and you can get out of almost anything with money or your connections to people in the government.

Things I can always use from the States

People often ask me if I need anything mailed to me.  Truth is, no.  I don't need anything.  1.something billion people live here and survive (supposedly).  But honestly, there are many things I would like.

Here are some things that I never seem to have enough of in this country that I can't find here:

Baking Powder (I love pancakes)
Mapeline (again pancakes)
Soft bristle toothbrushes (though Elias just brought me a bunch)
Crest baking soda and peroxide toothpaste
Deodorant (I wish I had Chinese genes so I wouldn't sweat and stink so much, believe it or not, most people here don't use deodorant)
Cosmo (I need a break from it all once in a while)
Skim milk (I know that can't be shipped here but I haven't had real milk in nearly two years)
Butterfingers
Cake mixes
Swiffer (Okay, that's asking a lot, especially since I can't buy the refill pads here)
Sanitizing Wipes/Spray
T-Shirts that actually fit properly

Okay, okay.  A lot of those things aren't things I necessarily want here as much as things that I miss.  Sometimes I just wish I were back at home.